Category: Arizona locals

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Away from Arizona too long

1. Your autocorrect can’t remember how to spell “Tucson” and instead turns it into “Toucan” every single time. 2. You’re totally reliant on your phone to tell you what direction you’re facing because there’s no sun and the flat horizon is totally uninterrupted by mountains — or really, any kind of topography. 3. You’re the only one pissed off about… Read more →

Customs to know before going to AZ

1. Don’t touch it. Whatever it is, it bites, hisses, stings, and/or burns. 2. It’s not courteous to ask an Arizonan if they’re packing a gun. They are. Nod and smile, and don’t stare at any holsters. 3. Don’t ask and don’t tell about politics. Then again, don’t assume. Arizonans defy stereotypes. There are conservative Mexican border patrol agents and… Read more →

Arizonan snobs

1. We go for mescal over tequila. If we must have tequila, we sip the añejo, or longest-aged variety. Mescal, the smokier, richer alcoholic concoction usually comes with a free worm. Don’t even get us started about margaritas. 2. Arizona’s Mexican food is the correct north-of-the-border version. We each have a favorite hot sauce, salsa, and type of chip. We… Read more →

How to become culturally Arizonan

1. Carry a bottle of water with you. Everywhere. It’s tough to be culturally competent while passed out from heat stroke. 2. Same with sunglasses. Check to make sure you have your wallet/purse, keys, water bottle, and shades before leaving the house. 3. Up your spice threshold. Our version of “mild” food is your rendition of “holy crap that’s hot.”… Read more →

Locals vs. transplans in Arizona

THE STATE OF ARIZONA is lived in by a wildly diverse population. You’ve got the snowbirds, the new transplants, the locals, the real locals — Native Americans –, and the transplants who’ve stayed long enough to be damn near local. Here are ways to tell some of them apart. 1. A local orders a shot of Reposado tequila at a… Read more →